i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
