Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
