I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
