Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
