Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
