I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
