you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
