This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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