someone threw a dead crab at me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
