I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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