So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
