This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
