I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
