I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
