all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
