the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
is that a dick in a sweater?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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