I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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