im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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