Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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