I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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