we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think your dad took our porno
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
