Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
