3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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