the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
