so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
