Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
