Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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