i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
