Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
and she was petting her beer can
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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