Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
ok first of all what the fuck
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
