He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
