Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
