In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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