Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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