My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
