girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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