it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
