is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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