mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
