I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
