U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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