Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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