i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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