we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So many bounce houses so little time
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
