distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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