3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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