Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
