Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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