i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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