It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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