Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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