I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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