Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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