He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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