Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
