i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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