i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
