Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
